Disco Ball

Fixing my portable disco ball.

You never know when you need to party. Always be prepared.

Internet Radio

Favorite Pandora station to date: Knights of Cydonia by Muse.

Listening to music.

I Heart Huckabees

Watching I Heart Huckabees.

Mid-movie review - The sex scene was retarded.


Leave one

Health Food

It is evident that in my absence my family has developed a small obsession with flaxseed.

Home for a week, looking for something to eat.

Comic Store

Just bought Mad Magazine issue number 200, first printed July 1978.

To keep in mint condition? Or see what they have to say about Donnie and Marie? I think we both know the answer to this one.

Planet of the Apes

Charleton Heston is shirtless on AMC.

No calls.

With Apologies to Barnes and Noble

Is it wrong to use a bookstore's WiFi to surf Amazon.com?

If so, then I guess an "oops" is in order.

A Conflict of PrimeTime

Switching between Ultimate Fighting and a documentary on women in chain gangs. It's a good night for TV.

Pancakes

Fact: Flour pancakes with granola on top are clearly different than granola pancakes.
Fact: The menu writer for Zaftigs will rue the day he tricked me.

Out to breakfast



(Thanks to Lysol commercials for the "Fact" idea)

Traditional Boston

While on a walk, I hear "POW! right in the kissah!" in a thick Boston accent.

I had to run home and write it down.

Back on a walk.

Malcolm in the Middle

So Frankie Muniz woke up next to an older woman, and a baby just got tattoos. I've said it before, but this show has gotten weird.

Watching reruns, getting a taco salad.

Authors and Titles

So since 10th grade I thought The Canterbury Tales was actually called the Chaucerbury Tales, named after the author. Amazon was not forgiving.


Reading

Laundry day

Out of the dryer my clothes were scalding hot, yet at the same time still moist. Others couldn't do this if they tried.

Pointing all of my fans toward my laundry.

Entertainment news with a comical spin

Best Week Ever < The Soup.

It just had to be said.

Watching The Soup.

Made

Not the MTV show, but rather, the movie which I have deemed as a love child of Pulp Fiction and Swingers.

Watch it. I need somebody to discuss it with.

SportsCenter

So apparently Pacman Jones doesn't like the name "Pacman". Who knew?

At the gym.

King of the Hill

I just saw Snoop Dogg on King of the Hill.

'Nuff said.

Ode to an hour

Tonight, 30 days. Tomorow, Ultimate Fighter semi-finals.

I adore you, 10pm time slot. Don't ever change.

Sparta

I continue to hope for Leonidus to suddenly Haduken Xerxes, and Xerxes to promptly block it with a fire of some sort. Anybody else see the resemblance?

Watching 300 and thinking about Street Fighter.

Sissyphus

Anybody else trying to use Blogspot and having malfunctions with the keyword labeling device?

Typing keywords, deleting them, and trying to type them again. Not fun.

Comcast!!!

My on-television guide has mixed up Cheaper by the Dozen with Cheaper by the Dozen 2. I shan't stand for this!

Writing an angry letter.

Like a George Foreman Grill

Sometimes a man just has to cut the virtual fat.

Deleting my worst blog posts.

The Hulk

"Hulk SMASH!!!"

"I WATCH!!!"

This time, I'm really at the movies.

At the Movies

Incredible Hulk? More like, the Unincredible Hulk! Or...the credible Hulk, I guess.


At the movies

Yet another epitome of Irony and Conflict

At my lunch break at work.

Eating fried chicken and mozzarella sticks while reading Mens Health.

Metal Gear Solid

Metal Gear Solid 4 is out!!!


Don't care. Reading Garfield.

Ultimate Fighting Championship

Ultimate Fighter Semi-Finals tonight, and one of the final 4 has sideburns.

Finally I have somebody to cheer for.

NBA Finals

Can anybody else see some of the Lakers working on a Yugoslavian fishing boat? I can't stop picturing Radmanovic in rubber overalls throwing a rope into water for some reason.


Watching the game

Heat

It's 88 degrees out and my fan broke. I'm too hot to think of something witty for this.


Sweating

History Channel

I'm not sure of many things in my life but I can guarantee that everything ever said about the Civil War is boring.


Waiting for the documentary on Vikings to come on. I need DVR.

Rubix Cube

Two ways to guarantee a headache:
-A hit to the head (frustrating)
-A Rubix Cube (slightly more frustrating)

One side down, 5 to go. No calls.

Mind of Mencia

Watching Mind of Mencia.


Yea yea cry about it all you want.

LG Phones

I would venture to say that while waiting literally 43 seconds for my phone to turn on, life is most certainly not good, as you promised it would be, buttholes.



Waiting to make a call

Dish time

I recently found flakes in a bowl and not recognized what or where they were from.


Dish washing time.

Mountain Man

I have officially declared not to shave until somebody refers to me as the following:

"Awesome Away, the man who looks like he could climb Everest. Without Oxygen." That last part? Absolutely necessary.


Shampooing my scruff.

Too much TV

Reading through my past away messages, I have realized that I have watched TV more than I have done anything else in the past month.


Reading Garfield. Figured it would be a good transition to ease my way into books.

Comcast

You ever press that little info button on your TV remote? I've realized that according to Comcast every single film ever made is a coming of age character study. Cinematic buzzwords which tell me nothing.


Watching TV.

Google

No funky Google logo today? Now I don't know what to believe in!


Naptime

Men's Health

I have been reading articles from menshealth.com during my lunch break at work, and have come to the conclusion that everything is going to kill me or make me obese except for flaxseed and black coffee.


Eating waffles. Suck on that, science.

Junk Mail

Throwing away junk mail addressed to somebody who lived at my apartment 2 years before me.


Apparently he lost a chance to make his credit impeccable while lowering his monthly interest fees. So I relay the message to Pradeepo Matsui, former tenant of my apartment. If you ever read this, call the 800 number as soon as possible before it's too late.

The Sitcom Backbone

Every time I watch a sitcom there always has to be an episode where an old person walks in and the "studio audience" cheers as if they are famous. I haven't recognized one yet.


Watching 2 and a Half Men.

A match made in Heaven

I just saw Charlie Sheen and Michael Jordan in a commercial together. Anybody else waiting for the sitcom?


Writing the pilot.


Not really. I'm eating Cheetos. Leave one.

Big day

Chugging Diet Cokes and Orange Juice.



Don't ask.