The Epitome of Conflict and Irony

Lifting weights and watching Mona Lisa Smile.

Sweet Show

Stop reading this and go watch Code Monkeys.


It's on Demand. Within the next 4 hours and 22 minutes, I will only get up for pizza.


I don't say this very often, but I win.

Humidity sucks

It's muggy out and I can't take my pants off.


Not a sweet situation

New Style

Typically, as per usual, away messages say what somebody is doing rather than being on AIM. To switch it up a bit, I shall mention what I am not doing:

Watching the Lohan Reality show
Solving a Rubix Cube
Instant Messaging (obviously)
Listening to Plain White Ts

Make your own away message day!

Suburb of Los Angeles style - Write down lyrics of a song, do not mention the artist, do not correct people if they think that you are the poet who wrote it, and put it in italics.


I'm onto you.

Vices

Old addictions which have risen from the dead, like the legendary phoenix:

Stupid Flash Games
Coffee


Wired, and playing a game called Cheese Dreams.

Best Deal Ever

Just bought a pair of glossy gray dance shoes, and a matching gray tie. Total cost? $22.00. Not kidding.


Looking frantically for an excuse to wear them

4 Day Weekend

Pants are off, and staying off.


It's a 4 day weekend.

Segway Cop

Today, while running, I saw a police officer on a segway. It made me think about the perfect ending to a creepy futuristic atmosphere movie, with the final sane-minded guy running and tripping while there is just a line of police officers, moving slowly toward him on their segways, with no look in their eyes...


Steven Spielberg move over.

The perfect description? Possibly

I think that I have found the perfect description of something, put into the following sentence.

Nor Cal is hella lame.


Score one for Los Angeles.

Hip lingo

Kickin' it.




I'm playing soccer. Did you really think I started talking like that?

Midnight Black

I am currently lying in bed awake wondering.

Is there a blacker name out there than Denzel Washington?

Not that I'm Arrogant...

Somebody tried to give me a tip for an away message to put on here. I told her that I'd rather watch Traveling Sisterhood Pants while listening to Star Jones describe to me how it would go if she were to have "relations" with Gilbert Godfrey.


Trying to think of a kickass away message so she thinks I have reason to act this way. And failing.

Quite Busy

Found my old system which plugs into a TV and plays Mappy, Pacman, and Galaga.


Leave one, I'll be busy for a few hours.

Brainpower

I often wonder how my brain, while being able to successfully accomplish the completion of vector calculus, doesn't have the sense to tell my body not to sneeze if I am in the middle of peeing.


Changing my pants and shirt.

Elipses Suck

The next time I am talking to somebody on AIM and I say something, and they respond merely by typing 3 periods in a row, I will somehow crawl through my computer and through the wires and out of theirs and pee on their keyboard. The symbol was not meant to be used as a response to something. How the hell does somebody not get that?


Fuming.

Comedy

Typical Bill Engvall Joke - Commentary on earrings being better for his teenage daughter than a naval ring because it makes boys look at her face rather than her torso. (Funny? No.)

Typical Frank Caliendo Joke - An impression of George Bush seeing the word "Pause" and mentioning how it is a French word for stop, pronounced "Paw U Say". (Clearly Funny.)

Yet they get to be on the same channel. Wonderful.



Watching TV

Painful but Neccessary

Sometimes you gotta take a deep breath, and accept that somebody has never sent you an instant message without you prompting them with one of your own.


Cleaning up my buddy list.

Fatty

So I eat a big meal to celebrate the end of my finals and now on my first day of work, none of my pants fit. Super.

Can I suck in my gut for another 5 hours? Only time will tell.

Bossy Rappers

Tell me to raise my hand in the air like I just don't care? When, in the history of life anywhere, has anybody signified a nonchalant attitude toward something by raising their hands and saying "Hey...Ho!" Never.


Listening to old school rap

Workout

I swore to myself that I could watch The Ultimate Fighter and not feel bad about myself.

I lost.

Going for a run.

Dinner

Within the rows of my current Excel sheets are lists of restaurants. In the columns are ranks based on the following:

Quality
Price
Service
Amount of Time (including travel time to restaurant)
What I am in the mood for

The rank of each is multiplied by the following numbers:
Mood is worth 5 points, quality is worth 4 points, price 3 points, amount of time 2 points, and service 1 point.

The scoring is golf style - lowest overall score means restaurant I go to.


You ever figure out dinner while studying for an econ final?

Chilling

Am I Chillin' like a villain?

Oh no, I am chilling like a tooth filling!

A tooth filling in the mouth of somebody who just ate ice cream. Oh yes, I am chilling that much.

Yahtzee

You ever play Yahtzee, decide to go for the gusto, and then get all of your dice to show the number 6?

Seeing all those sixes is a thing of beauty. More beautiful than Monet, Picasso, Caravaggio, and almost as beautiful as a color photo of Garfield the Cat.

Fun times.

Iron Man

Iron Man was awesome. Like all other movies, I have only one suggestion.


More William H. Macy. 'Nuff Said.



Writing a review.

Finals Week

I care about you people so much that I am going to use my study break to let you know that I am currently on a study break, which will most likely be over by the time you are done reading this sentence. You owe me.


Studying.

Metal Discrimination

So if we say that a man is made of tin, then he is just some douche bag from The Wizard of Oz. But apparently if he is made of iron, well then, watch out!

This is a typical case of metal discrimination and I for one will not stand for it.


OK I will just this once, for Robert Downey Jr.


At the movies.

Dentist

Lying down, gaping open mouthed at another man.



Dentist Appointment

Summer Vacation

The fact that it was summer vacation hadn't hit me. Then, when I realized that it was 1pm and my biggest decision was whether to watch TV or downloaded episodes of something on the Internet, and whether to get salad or hot wings, it all hit me.


TV won.

Heart Attack

You ever just wake up and just get an urge for heart attack food?


Pasta Alfredo, Pesto with Basil, Salt, and Beer. Goes down smooth.

Broadcast Journalism

According to broadcast journalists, a girl did not get high and go down on a guy. She ingested psychedelic hallucinogens and performed (or administered) oral sex.

"We have an anonymous college student here to give us a local perspective on the new fad in college, partaking in the ingestion of nutritional supplements through the use of food, or to them, 'lunch'."

Long winded way to say that I'm eating.

Musicianship

At my high school talent show just before I played my favorite classical piece on my mother's acoustic guitar:

"To all the kids who got a funny haircut, spent $3000 on a special amplifier, and know nothing except for power chords, I dedicate this to you."



Practicing my scales and finger picking. Leave one.

Dryer Battle

Time and again, this dryer had beaten me in a battle of wits. I dry my clothing, pay, and end up with moist clothing. No more will i cower to a mere machine!

Is victory worth the cost of paying for three dry cycles? Wear some wet undies and socks for a day and ask yourself the same question.


Waiting for my laundry. Give me a call.

HOT HOT HOT!

If I were in a charity bachelor auction of some sort, or a male stripper, I would call myself so hot that you could throw water on me, and then use that water to make me some instant macaroni and cheese. And feed it to me in the most sexy manner possible.

Yes I'm bored send me something fun to read.

Waiting...

Writing an away message brb

Silly Putty

Picking the dust out of my silly putty.

It's so bouncy, so fun, yet it loves to get dirty no matter what. Sort of like a child...on a trampoline...a dirty trampoline.

I lost myself in that one. Sorry.


Be back soon.

What to do

What to do while I am away:

1 - Twiddle your thumbs.

There is no 2. Go make your own fun.

Marathon

Bad kind of Marathon - Running 26 miles

My kind of marathon - Watching 26 episodes of something

TV's on, I'm near my comp

Damn the H20

So there you have it, I am too stupid to figure out the installation of a Britta Filter.


Drying my hands, changing my shirt.

Pondering

As of now, pondering how AIM is sort of like a super acronym. AIM stands for AOL Instant Messenger. Yet AOL is an acronym as well! Think about it.

Pun

I am going to Be Arby.

No you dolt, I am not turning into a sub-par manly sandwich place. Read it fast.

First Awesome Away Message

"Hey who is Sarah Marshal?"

I forget

At the movies. No cell.